I went to the worst bars
hoping to get
laid
hoping to dissociate
sex from
feeling
wanting to separate
lust from
love
and it worked
for a
time
the women were
easy
all it took was
a kind
word
a finger stroke
above the
elbow
a twinkle in
my eye
a beer or
three
they went with me
without knowing
me
went with me to
the nearest
motel
hotel
for anonymous
meaningless
sex
passion was missing
amid the smell of
tobacco
amid the smell of
alcohol
amid the slurred speech
amid the hungry eyes
amid the longing
to be
touched
brief foreplay
briefer sex play
and they knew not
what hit
them
metaphorically
knew not what hit
them in the sexual
sense
they were not
touched
they were not
loved
they were
played
two weeks
nine women
no names
no numbers
no addresses
no nothing
but used condoms flushed from view
no nothing
but a drive home disgusted
with myself
dirty with dirt
that would
not scrub
off
a promise in my head
to never
do it
again
to never ever
do it
again
until the next
night
|
